I’m that kind of person who loves to be alone. I like to be in my room alone just watching some tv series or movies or reading other people’s blogs, stories, and books.
I don’t mind being alone.
I rarely visit my hometown . Not even during school breaks when almost all of my dormmates go home to their families. Well, that was mostly because I had work but even during work holidays, I’d rather be on my dorm room than travelling back and forth to places.
For the past four years or so, I go to my hometown at least once or twice a year. It’s usually to celebrate Christmas and my birthday on the 28th with my relatives. Then, before New Year comes, I’m back to my dorm room and celebrate the holiday on my own and prepare for work the next day.
Is that sad? Well, it does sound sad. But for me, it really isn’t. I enjoy being alone but I don’t lock myself out from the whole world. I still talk to my friends and catch up.
Then, the pandemic happened. And I knew something changed.
When our city was in lockdown, not so many people can travel to places. That means, students were stranded in most places. Students here in our city are no exception. Our city government then made plans to help them and one by one, the stranded students in our dorm were allowed to leave and go back to their respective hometowns and their families until I was alone in our floor. There are still tenants on different floors on the building but on mine, it was only me.
Slowly, as days went by, I started to feel weird. Like anxiety is slowly creeping into my system. I don’t hear anyone slamming their doors, anymore. I don’t hear anyone talking so loudly on the living room while the tv is on. My dorm mates are gone. I am alone. I don’t have anyone else here to talk to me or keep me company.
I have a window in my room so I usually hear a lot of vehicle noises or just people laughing and talking while passing by our building before until the pandemic. But when lockdown happened, only a few are allowed to go out and our city imposed a curfew which explains the literal silent night I had for months.
It was just so quiet. I wasn’t used to it. Or so I thought. When they loosened the restrictions, more people were allowed to go out and curfew was lifted, I was suddenly terrified of hearing noises and people talking at night. I didn’t know what was happening to me. Up to now, I’m still jumpy when I hear loud noises at night. It’s driving me a bit crazy.
I don’t know if i’m being a little too dramatic here but I guess at the end of the day I’m learning a lot of things from this pandemic–one of them being that sometimes having some company is also good. I don’t have to be alone all the time.